Learning from injuries (again)

A few weeks ago my middle back started having fits.  I went to the chiropractor.  I wend to my massage therapist, but the pain I felt when I first woke each morning was not going anywhere.  My Chiropractor had recommended taking it easy, explaining that the pain was not a problem of alignment, but a muscle or connective tissue that needed to heal.  So I cut out the feats of strength in my yoga practice.  Still no improvement.

My yoga teacher would check in before class "how's the back?" he would ask "the same" I would reply.  One day he said with a furrowed brow- "this has really gone on for a while, hasn't it?" "Yes!" I answered in frustration.  "Is it backbends?" he asked? "And forward folds and twists!" I responded.

I decided I had to do something drastic- I wasn't going to do ANY pose where I could feel the injury.  That decision made me feel  like a preschooler having a tantrum - and truth be told I did have tears in the corners of my eyes with the frustration of not being able to do ANYTHING without pain.  Then we stood in tadasana, and my teacher asked quietly "How is that- any pain?" This seemed to me a ridiculous question - of course not- I wasn't doing anything except standing still!  But something changed in that moment.  It was not true that EVERYTHING caused me pain, just MOST things.  It took a lot of will power, but I committed for however long it took that I would not do any pose that caused the least irritation to those healing muscles and attachments.  I was able to do only about 1/3 of the asanas that day, but "pushing through" and "holding back" were not working.  Only complete abstinence from certain poses would do it seemed.  Oh, did my ego protest as I set up in the corner and skipped all those poses that make me feel like a Power Ranger and all the pretzels that are so fun to wriggle into. But patience and circumspection finally won the day, and after 3-4 weeks I could twist again.

The lessons are timeless and multiple-
sometimes less is more
take time to heal
when something is taken from you, don't overlook whatever you still have
and the most difficult of all- letting go of that ego.

A Great Misunderstanding

As family gathered for our holiday meal, I told one guest the story of how I took the winter off from running last year during the coldest, snowiest months, and just did yoga.

The relative asked:
"Was it hard to get back in shape?"
"No, It was fine, I was doing yoga 5 times a week"
"Well, what about the aerobic part?"
"Seriously, I was doing yoga 5 times a week, it's not like I got out of shape."
"How would that help?" she asked.


This is not the first conversation I've had like this.  I mean, I was surprised how much the breath work we do in yoga translated to spring running, but I knew that first run of the spring would be nowhere near as painful as when I was coming back from pregnancy, or that year I spent on the couch during grad school.  Research has shown that the first 15 minutes of an Ashtanga class bring the heart rate up to what is needed for aerobic exercise.  And though I feel calm and still in "wheel", I definitely notice a change in my breathing when I emerge.

I used yoga as a metaphor for volunteer burn-out at a committee meeting recently.  I explained how sometimes I overdo it, ending up with tired sore muscles or even an injury, and need to pull back "At yoga?" they asked in shocked voices. 

Somehow a great majority of folks seem to think that all yoga is Gentle Yoga or Yin Yoga. In fact Hatha yoga is about the balance between strong and passive energies.  Cyndi Lee explains it much like my yoga teacher back at Willow Glen used to: "Hatha is also translated as ha meaning "sun" and tha meaning "moon." This refers to the balance of masculine aspects—active, hot, sun—and feminine aspects—receptive, cool, moon—within all of us. Hatha yoga is a path toward creating balance and uniting opposites. In our physical bodies we develop a balance of strength and flexibility. We also learn to balance our effort and surrender in each pose."

I don't know how we overcome this widespread perception of hatha yoga is a yin-only practice.  But anyone who's practiced on Saturday morning at Sunrise Yoga knows there is plenty of warm sun in that practice to get anyone through the coldest winter.

twisting deeper

As I was walking to yoga I noticed that winter's cold had dropped to a new place.  It's colder than it's been, but certaily not as cold as it will be.  It reminded me of going into a deep seated twist:
inhale- sit tall, lengthen the spine
exhale- move deeper into the twist

As we twist deeper and deeper into winter, the deepening motion inhales for almost rhythmic pauses.  The whole eco-system breathes into the new, colder reality.  We pause there for a moment, then exhaling, move deeper and deeper into winter.

Warm

As our teacher led us into Savasana last week, he suggested, as he always does "you may want to put on socks or a blanket or anything else you need to keep your muscles warm during Savasana"

As I heard the click of the portable heater turning on, I remembered a teacher I had studied with a few times in California. He had scorned such practices saying that the heat from ones practice should carry us through Savasana.

As I lay on my mat, toes warmed by socks, snuggled under my cotton yoga blanket I thought "I don't believe that fellow ever practiced in the North East"

[Image pilfered from this very adorable yoga blog]

Whatever comes

This summer my son and I spent a week at a retreat center that offered YOGA EVERY MORNING! The teacher was very clear that this was a gentle yoga class, not really geared toward more experienced practitioners. Undaunted I asked if she would mind if I took a few variations. She said it was fine as long as I set up in the back of the room so as not to confuse folks who were brand new.

The first day of class one practitioner walked out half way through. She later explained that she had a vigorous Vinyasa practice, and had gone to find a quiet room to do her own thing. She seemed a little angry that the class was not what she was used to. She had recently found Vinyasa and loved how it felt to have the strength and warmth that comes from a flowing practice. There was talk among some of us who prefer a vigorous yoga about forming a splinter group and finding our own place to practice.

Next morning I toted my mat back to the gentle class. I snuck in a few chaturangas and a headstand, but mostly I went with the flow. I remember so clearly a time in my practice when I too would have been filled with anger when a class was not vigorous enough. I was so happy to have found a form that helped me develop strength and really challenged my body; I felt like a Power Ranger. By the end of class I was exhausted but calm and centered. What changed? Time I think. I realized there is time for all kinds of yoga. After 10+ years of practice I really get that a week of yoga is just a blink of an eye in a lifetime of practice. I was willing to let go of sun salutations in exchange for a week with a new teacher, and for the camaraderie of a room full of yogis.

One morning the room started leaking and folks in the back row had to move their mats to accommodate buckets which caught rain dripping through the roof. We struggled together to hold our focus through storm-strength winds which slammed doors open and shut. We returned to our mats on days when the sun finally came out and its siren song tried to lure us away from asana out onto the deck.

Personal preferances aside, yoga anchored that week for me; no matter what the rest of any day might bring- it started with yoga.

Seasons

This spring, due to changes in my schedule, changes in my studio schedule, and the beauty of the season, I have started running again and am doing yoga only 3 times a week. Now, for many years this seemed to be an incredible luxury, and when I started practicing 3 times a week about 8 years ago, I couldn't believe how much faster I made progress than practicing only 1 time a week.

But for the past couple of winters I've been practicing 4-6 times a week. I was so worried about getting out of shape for running that I didn't realize what the impacts of going back to a 3-practice week might have. I remember last year sometime my teacher mentioned that if he went a day without practicing he felt stiff, and I thought that was crazy. Now I know it's true. When I go just 48 hours without practicing, I feel like each time I get back on the mat I am starting over. I have noticed for years that the morning after a hard workout I am sore, but 2 mornings later I am REALLY sore. I suppose there is a similar principle at work here; some hardening and settling in happens over 48 hours that is somehow interrupted when you practice every day(ish). I realized this morning, as my stiff muscles complained, that I had taken for granted the comfortable supple feeling of my yoga-only practice.

But summer is around the corner, and with it a more flexible schedule. And next winter is on the horizon as well. I can look forward to days too cold and icy to run, knowing the season brings with it the comfort of a daily yoga practice.

Sharing Yoga

Keeping up a yoga practice while traveling is a challenge. Hotel-room yoga, while kind of un-inspiring, is a challenge I have some experience with. Sure you have to do all the poses that extend one leg to the side so that your extended leg fits between the beds, and it's a tight geometry to raise the arms in Sun Salutation so that they don't brush the hotel desk or TV cabinet, but it's worth leaving some conference workshop 15 minutes early and getting to dinner 15 minutes late in order to practice.

Visiting family is a little harder. I often feel kind of conspicuous and in-the-way, and it's a lot harder to feel okay about skipping out on family activities than to slip away from a conference of 400 people.

This past winter when I went to visit my sister's family, I got up early to get my practice in before everyone's day began. But of course my niece and nephew are of the age where getting up at 7:00 is sleeping in, and my son had joined them in their early morning revels, so my sister was caring for 3 children before her first cup of coffee. What kind of selfish aunt would I be to sneak off in a corner to practice yoga? So I just laid 2 mats out right in the middle of the living room, and asked who wanted to practice with me. My son demonstrated a couple of poses and went back to his video game, but my 4 year old niece was in for the long haul. She was crazy about yoga, and wanted more more more. We must have practiced for an hour before she started to lose focus, and my word if she couldn't do just about every pose I threw at her. It might be the most fun I've ever had doing yoga. Next morning I rolled out the mats again; I didn't fear being self-centered and in-the-way, because now yoga WAS a family activity. How happy I am to have a new yoga buddy. It makes yoga-while-traveling a joy.

Something New

While we were traveling, a friend took me to her usual class at 7th Heaven. The teacher suggested rolling on top of the front foot in pigeon pose,
whereas I have been using a flexed foot.
I've been trying it this new way since- they way the muscles in the outer thigh and hip are effected is really quite different.
I'm going to have to contemplate this for a while- Pigeon is like a brand new pose.